Room 1029: Esmeralda's Prophecy

It's on my must-do list at Disneyland (besides Indiana Jones and Soarin', of course). I have to plop in a quarter and get my fortune "read" by Esmeralda in the glass booth in front of the Penny Arcade on Main Street. She is the female Zoltar (weren't expecting a Big reference, were you?) and is closely akin to Catherine Zeta-Jones in the looks department, albeit with head scarf and only her top half. Once the quarter is deposited she makes some jerky movements, turning her head from side to side and then a white card pops out at the bottom. Instant fortune! (And "one of my lucky numbers"! Only twenty-five cents, folks. By far the cheapest souvenir on Disney property.) I currently possess 16 of these babies, dating back to when I first moved here in 2002. I've had some repeats (C'mon give Esmeralda a break!) such as four that begin with the quote "Ideals are like a shining star, which most us worship from afar"...whatever. But every once in a while, Essie gets specific: "You will meet with one who will love you. That love will be returned by you. The first name of this person begins with M and you will be introduced at a place of amusement". Apparently Micky Mouse and I are destined for one another.

Amenities of Room 1029: Coin operated bed. Free Disney Channel. No dimes and nickels, please. Plenty of false hope.

Room 1198: Curves

Yep. I go to Curves. Or Curvin', as I like to call it. And I'm not a stay-at-home mom. I just really took to the idea of being in and out of a gym in 30 minutes. And it's a pretty true 30 minutes. There's a benevolent voice that tells you to "Change stations now" every 30 seconds. It's very Maoist work camp without the uniforms. It's really the exercise equivalent to GarAnimals. Which is exactly what I need: a seemingly pleasant disembodied voice telling me when to move and when to check my pulse. With the soundtrack of jingle singers' re-recorded pop tunes playing in the background. Have you ever ran in place to a jazzed up version of "Send in the Clowns" complete with drum machine beat? I have!
Now the Curves I go to (and it's the only one I've been to) is really girly. As in pastel green and pink walls, holiday decorations and Hello Kitty. Now I have a past with Hello Kitty. She was my first book report in kindergarten (probably my best, too) and I did have a Hello Kitty themed birthday...only a few short years ago. (Side note: not my idea but I appreciated it. Everyone was told to bring HK gifts. And I still wear my HK stocking hat today....I mean, literally today. SoCal is still nippy in the mornings.) So Curvin' with The Kitty doesn't rankle me. The seasonal decorations are a little elementary school but charming. There is also a mannequin set up in the corner that has a very impressive wardrobe of holiday attire (She is currently decked out in a strange St. Patty's / Easter combo: Pink hair, green boa). But the Curvers-That-Be tend to take it too far in the winter: in the storefront gym that is my Curves, they display a giant inflatable Turkey followed closely by giant inflatable Snowglobe come Christmas. That's...extreme. Oh, and did I mention the Buddha in the middle of the room that is currently sporting bunny ears?

Amenities of Room 1198: Free Curves Keychain Card. Drag-Queen Religious Idol Decor. Room only available by the half hour.